Leaning into negative emotions

Grief isn’t just one thing, one emotion. Grief is defined as, ”deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death”. Deep sorrow. I don’t think that really covers the grief experience. Sorrow denotes sadness and distress but grief is so much more than that. It’s anger, disappointment, fear, anxiety of the future, regret about the past, longing, abandonment, loss of not only what was but what might have been.

Learning to face negative emotions including anger, resentment, sadness and anxiety is difficult work. It takes commitment and and an understanding that it is not a weak or unacceptable thing to do. Being judged as children for expressing difficult emotions do deep damage as they grow older.

When grief hits as young people, if we don’t have support or skills to deal with it, that grief can turn into something much worse. The best thing about grief is that it is an opportunity to learn how to deal with difficult emotions. It’s an opportunity to grow through trauma. It’s an opportunity to develop the skills we weren’t taught as children. As adults, we can give ourselves permission to feel these emotions without judgement, and eventually, without hesitation.