Catherine’s Story

This is my Mum, Alyson, who brought me into this world and whose death shaped the woman I am today.

She died suddenly and tragically in 1990, aged 34, of a ruptured brain aneurysm whilst our family were living as expats in Dubai. I was 18 months old at the time and my siblings 4 and 7 years old. My Dad, her husband of eleven years and soulmate, was 36, and left alone in a foreign country with three young children unable to understand what had happened. Her death was devastating and so painful that I believe everyone who knew and loved her went into a deep, dark place of mourning and never truly recovered. 

Before having children, my Mum was a primary school teacher, and planned on returning to teaching once we were in school. She was a dedicated and passionate mother, steadfastly loyal, with a wicked sense of humour and charming personality. 

Growing up as a motherless daughter has been a uniquely sad, confusing, lonely and often bitter experience. I do not have any memories of her and spent many hours watching home videos to see glimpses of her personality and hear her voice. 

I recently became a mother and found myself immersed in an entirely new form of grief. So, I decided to make an account (aptly called themotherlessmumma) to not only honour my Mum’s memory and share my experience as a motherless mother, but to find other women going through the same loss. I believe that by sharing our experiences, the ugly sides and all, we can slowly heal and feel less alone.