Sarah’s Story
This week marks 6 years since my mom left this physical earth.
Six years without hearing her voice, feeling her embrace, seeing her name pop up on my phone "Mom." Six Christmas' we've missed her presence and two grandchildren she didn't get to meet.
Mom, or as she's been affectionately known in the community as "Lizzy" was an eternally positive bright light in so many people's lives. Our journey with her health started in 2009 when I was living abroad in London, England. We would video chat on Skype every single day and one day I noticed a scar on her chest. She brushed it off telling me it was nothing, but I knew better. I knew it wasn't "nothing". My mom had a way of shielding my brothers and I from potentially scary things throughout our childhood. When I came home that year for the holidays, she and my dad informed my brothers and I that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer BUT it was small, they think they got it all, and the prognosis was positive. That began our journey as a family supporting her through her diagnosis and treatment. She was determined no diagnosis was going to stop her from living her life.
The next few years were amazing; we took many family trips, saw my brother get married, and she started a charity to give back to the community. Her experience as a patient opened her eyes to the struggles that some people experience living with a cancer diagnosis. With her vision and wonderful friends we were able to plan successful annual events raising over $150,000 for our small community.
In March 2016 mom had a recurrence with a terrible prognosis. She was admitted to hospital and we were told she would not leave the hospital. We remained positive, we prayed, and we had hope. Five days later mom opened her eyes and asked if there was Tim Horton's in the hospital and asked for a coffee. That day was the first day of our second chance. We got a second chance with her that year and we did not take it for granted. Not only did mom leave that hospital, she lived everyday defying all odds, crushing her goals, and making memories with her friends and family. That's the spirit of Liz. She never took no for an answer. In every situation there was always another way.
I particularly feel very fortunate for an extra 13 months I had with my mom. I moved into my parents house and spent every day with her. We did everything together. I was a newlywed and although she encouraged me to be with my husband, I knew my heart and mind were always with her. I knew we had limited days and I wanted to spend every single second absorbing everything I could from her. We hosted our last fundraiser together that year and encouraged her to take a family trip to the Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia as she said that was a dream trip of hers. She was reluctant to travel and I think she knew things were changing with her. And things did change rapidly.
Even in her last days she tried to shield me from the truth and pain of what losing her would be like. She knew that pain as she lost her own mother 8 years prior. I was her biggest advocate and strongest voice. At 18 weeks pregnant as I was preparing to bring a new person into our family, I was also preparing to say goodbye to our matriarch and my best friend. But nothing prepared me for that loss. Nothing prepared me to be a mother without my mother. That was a particularly difficult time in my life; losing your mother is a significant loss but losing a mother while learning to be a mother is a layer of grief many people don't experience let alone understand.
Liz's legacy will remain in our community for many years. The Miss Lizzy's Foundation has touched the lives of many people living with cancer and their families. If ever we need a piece of her in our lives we can visit the local Hospice where a room is named after her and the garden is adorned with a water fountain which is one of the last things she chose. I look forward to sharing these memories with my children someday so that her legacy can continue to live on through them.
