Tinuola’s Story
My first intense experience of grief occurred when I was 16 when I lost my dear father. At the time, I wasn’t directly informed of his demise; however, I recall seeing my mum’s friend and uncle in my school talking to the porters.
I was perplexed because it was unusual to have them around. There were lots of unanswered questions running through my mind - why are they here, why did them come without my mum?
With these burning questions yet to be answered, they uttered, “Tinu, go and get your things, we are leaving together.” I naively asked, why?
In their words, there was an ongoing event at home, so my mum couldn’t make it. I gave a deep sigh of relief and said “let’s go.” On getting to the house, I saw a lot of people from the gate wearing sad faces, it immediately sent shivers down my spine as I could decipher that something was indeed wrong. Death wasn’t my immediate thought till I saw my mum crying; no one said anything to me but I knew at that point my dad was gone.
Who could have imagined that my “strong father” would leave the house for the hospital and never return? It was such a hard pill to swallow and comprehend.
Three years later, the worst and least expected happened to my mother, and I was left wondering: how on earth can I lose my roots within a short period of time?
If my life was a movie, I’d have asked the director to change the last chapter of the script given that the loss of my parents has been beyond heartbreaking.
My life took a different turn after death of my parents. Words can’t describe how it has been without them. My life changed completely and I mean this literally. After a while, I managed to pick up the pieces and embrace positivity amidst the negative turn of events.
“When a father dies, there’s a father alive”. This a popular statement said to comfort those grieving. The harsh truth is that if you ever lose your parents and someone promises you to step in as your parent, don’t believe it. That’s a complete lie, sadly. Their positions are irreplaceable.
My life as an orphan as changed a lot about me and the way I perceive life, my world seemingly crumbling. I always feel like things would be a lot easier if I had my mother around, she was my shoulder to cry on and offered a listening ear - our bond was indescribable.
I hope this read was worth your while and I pray these comforting messages resonate with someone out there. Always remember, you’re not alone. Life might seem unfair, but never relent. You’ll have a reason to smile, someday.
