Debbie’s Story

My beautiful mother Diane was bubbly, vivacious and the centre of everything. She was killed in a car crash nearly 4 years ago, a lorry driver fell asleep at the wheel and she died at the side of the road. I grieve for her like it was yesterday. She was on her way up to see me, and I still carry the guilt with me, and probably always will. What if I hadn’t asked her to come and look after my little boy, what if I had texted her back when she text to say she was leaving, what if, what if, what if.

However, the most painful part of her death is what she is missing out on. The holidays she will never have, the new grandson she will never hold, the life she deserved to have. When people say rest in peace, I get annoyed. She won’t rest in peace, she was at peace before, she’s not in a better place, she will want to be here, with us. She was happy and she didn’t deserve it. The unfairness of it all is something I am trying to deal with, but it’s hard. I struggle to keep my head above water some days, but I know she wouldn’t want me or the grandchildren upset in anyway, so I use that as my strength. I understand now that you don’t get over grief, but I’m hopeful with time, it will get easier to live with.

Debbie x