Nicole’s Story
My mother Alice was the sweetest, warmest, most loving woman. My mom was the type of person who could light up any room that she walked into. She had an outgoing personality, and always put everyone else before herself. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body. My mom was a pre-school teacher, she was very passionate when it came to working with kids. She was also an extremely talented artist, she loved to paint. Over the years, my mom worked on dozens of paintings. She loved to paint scenery from waterfalls, to gardens, beaches, and much more. Each painting she worked on took a very long time because she saw things in the detail of each of her works that most people wouldn’t. She always looked forward to her Saturday morning painting classes.
On August 8th, 2020, my whole world was flipped upside down. Nobody saw this coming. I lost my best friend and my soul mate. I was absolutely heartbroken. August 7th, 2020 started out like any other ordinary day. My mom went in for a routine dental procedure. When she was finished with the dentist she was brought home and began snacking on her favorite Ralph's ices and mashed potatoes. She was completely fine, and her normally bubbly self. My dad and I made sure my mom was ok and settled into bed so she could get some rest after she had a dental procedure done earlier in the day. When my mom was settled in, my dad and I went out for a few hours. Normally, my mom would call us at least five times on an average day. I remember saying to my dad I though it was very odd that we haven’t heard from mom once. I didn’t think anything of it though. Eventually, we returned home and that’s when we found her unconscious. There were a million thoughts rushing through my head and I was so stricken with fear and panic. We called 911, and EMS arrived within five minutes of placing the phone call.
When EMS arrived, they took her into the ambulance and spent twenty minutes working on her before they were able to get her stabilized and take her to the local hospital. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t want to. I had to have faith that she would be okay. The doctors did everything they could, but were baffled by her grave condition. She never regained consciousness, and her blood pressure and body temperature were severely low. The doctors didn’t know why this was happening or what had caused it. All they could do was try their best to make sure she was comfortable. She was hooked up to lots of IVs and a breathing machine. I’ll never forget what I saw when I entered the hospital room. How could this be? This kind of stuff is only supposed to happen in the movies. Not to my sweet and beautiful mommy. I kept telling her how much I loved her. I was stroking her hair and continued talking to her as if everything were ok. I didn’t want her to be scared. All I wanted was to tell her how sorry I was for all the times we fought and how much I loved her.
I was so mad, angry, sad, and confused. This shouldn’t have happened. Her body began shutting down and eventually her heart stopped beating. Just like that and my mom was gone. I lost my best friend, my sweet and beautiful mommy on Saturday, August 8, 2020 at 2:25 am. I was in shock. It’s so painful for me to think about not having my mom here on earth anymore. As I sit here writing this story, I still can’t believe that all of this is real. It’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that she’s really gone. I never imagined my life going like this. I always assumed that my mom would be around for a very long time. It’s so painful to think about all the milestones she’s going to miss out. She won’t be there to see me graduate from college, walk me down the aisle at my wedding, or hold her grandchildren.
I think the most difficult part of all of this is the unknown and uncertainty that still exists. We still don’t have any answers as to what happened and why, and most likely never will. Over the last few months I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. I miss my mom more than words can describe. She was my best friend, my shopping buddy, and my favorite coffee date. There are some days where I’m so upset and spend the entire day in bed sulking. I know my mom would want me to live a life that would make her proud. She wouldn’t want me to be sad and in pain. She’d want me to be happy and live a rich and fulfilling life. I find myself talking out loud to my mom, which has given me some comfort. Wherever she is, I know that she’s looking down and watching over me, my sister, and dad.
Although she’s no longer here physically, I still feel my mom’s presence. I’m so lucky to have had such a kind and loving mother for almost twenty-two years. My mom was my best friend. Whenever I hear a song by the Rolling Stone’s come on, I feel connected to her. She was a lover of life and really lived each day to the fullest.
With everything that has happened over the last few months, I’ve been woken up by the harsh reality of my situation. Although what happened to my mom was so terrible and heart-breaking, there was definitely a lesson to be learned. I’ve learned to never take life for granted and to love the people in my life with all my heart. In the blink of an eye, everything can suddenly change. It’s so important to forgive often and love with all you heart. You never know when you might not have that chance again. I’m constantly wishing that I could go back in time and tell my mom how much I love her. I think of her every second of the day. If I could get my mom back I’d never let her go.
