Sue’s Story

I had a few triggers this week that took me back to my mom‘s death and landed me in an emotional spiral, 13 years later.

Finding her rings in my closet.

Finding a birthday card with her signature.

My parents 46th wedding anniversary coming up on Monday.

A verse my church is focusing on this week...was a verse that was read at her funeral.

A migraine I had on Sunday that reminded me of her migraines that led to her stroke & the Glioblastoma brain tumor that took her life.

The smallest of details triggered my emotions. My eyes took what they saw & passed it to my heart and my heart stopped feeling.

Numb emotions + Numb responses= A zoned out Mama Sue.

There were moments when I had to take words of truth to override the negative, while I cried.

Moments I had to remind myself...God is in the details.

And He’s in the numbing parts.

Maybe...the “numb” is feeling deep...so I can feel Him. Maybe the numb is the end of my strength and a baton pass to His strength.

And maybe...the little items I found this week are truly a way for me to pull closer to my mother. Maybe inside the sad tears of my heart...are also small treasures...from heaven.

Signs Mama Jean is still in my heart and is still a crucial part of my life.

Signs God sees me and is with me...in both my tears and in my happy times.

13 years later...I’m learning grief can pop up anytime, yet beauty can still reign.

with love,

Mama Sue