Jen’s Story

Therese (Terry) McLauchlan was born October 28th, 1949 to two parents who loved her very very much.  She was the oldest in the family and raised her two little brothers as her parents were shift workers in Cornwall, Ontario.  

By the time she was a mother herself to my older brother and me she had developed the best mothering skills any woman could have.  

She was an amazing, strong, loving and smart woman.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1995.  This was my graduating year from high-school.  As a selfish child I thought, how am I going to handle this?

I very quickly saw my mother's strength and determination to fight this disease with every fiber of her being!!  And she did until October 28th 2006.  

For many years, my mother was determined to see my brother and I succeed. She fought to see my brother graduate from Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario  She saw him get married and spoiled two of the three grandchildren he gave her.  She saw me get married and she had the most amazingly close relationship with my first born son.  

My mother was so excited to find out I was pregnant for the second time and was convinced I was having a little girl.  She mailed me everything pink she could find at the store to ensure the first gift I received was for a girl.  In her French-Canadian upbringing, people said that the first gift you received would determine the sex of your baby.  Old wives’ tails!  

Labour Day weekend 2006, my Mom told me that after all these years and all her treatments that her cancer was terminal.  I was floored.  I was in disbelief.  This woman was diagnosed with breast cancer and never ever took time off work.  She worked through all her treatments.  Five years after her first diagnosis she was "cancer free".  We celebrated and she thanked God!  Six months later the doctors found cancer cells on her sternum and on two her vertebrae.  She said, let's get started on treatments without batting an eye.  

Many years of monitoring the vertebrae came to an end when she was told if they did not remove her vertebrae she will be paralyzed from the chest down. 

Surgery pre-op appointment day:  My strong and knowledgeable mother looks over her forms and finds no chest x-ray requisition.  I want an x-ray since you are collapsing my lung to take my ribs she said firmly; yes, Mrs. McLauchlan the nurse said.  After all her tests are completed she was asked to go up to oncology because they had some news.  

The doctor says, we see that your lungs are both filled with tumors Terry.  We need to decide what you want to do about tomorrow?  This doesn't change anything she said.  So, the next morning, we all accompanied her and my dad to St. Michael's Hospital in downtown Toronto. Mom had two vertebrae removed and they created a cage to protect her spinal cord with her ribs.  A few days in ICU and she was ready to go home.  

Since I was on maternity leave, I moved in to care for her and so even though she couldn't do much, she had the daily joy of watching her grandson play in front of her.

Mom healed and regained her strength.  She lived her best life watching her grandchildren grow, spoiling them every opportunity she could.  Her and I developed the closest relationship we had ever had.  She was my best friend, my  biggest advocate, my sounding board.  

Jen, she told me, the cancer is in my brain.  It’s terminal.  I was due with my second child that December.  She assured me that I didn't need to stress about her that the doctors are going to make her comfortable until the baby is born so that she could see her.  That was the fight that she wanted me to see.  But she knew that she was not going to see my baby.  We celebrated Thanksgiving at my house and she had her parents come for a visit to tell them everything she needed to tell them.  And gave them the opportunity to tell her everything they needed to say.  They returned home and she went into the hospital with a fever the next day.  She said her goodbye to the two people she cherished most in her world.

The night of October 27th my husband, dad and brother would not let me stay at the hospital that night, they wanted me to go home and sleep.  I fought but I was not going to win.  I leaned over to say good night and I love you.  I told her I will see her in the morning.  October 28th at 1:30am Terry took her last breath on her 57th birthday.  

She left me but not without a goodbye.  I was woken out of my sleep by the coldest feeling in my bones at the very moment she took her last breath.  

Her granddaughter, Shelby Therese, was born December 10th, the spitting image of her Nanna.  Mom always told us one soul needs to leave this earth make room for a new one!!  I see her soul in my daughter each and every day.